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Horntones: Customize Your Honk

By Ryan Freebern / 102 comments

These days, if you can’t download a custom sound onto a device, nobody wants it. That’s why the Horntones FX-550 device is going to be so successful: instead of a lame single-note honk when you get mad at that guy who cut you off, why not play a few bars of Grammy-winning hip-hop artist Chamillionaire’s hit single “Ridin’”, or for that old-school classic feel, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince’s “You Saw My Blinker.” If that’s not a great way to distract other drivers and make the roads a little less safe, I don’t know what is.

It’s an after-market accessory that ties into your regular car horn system, but allows you to play any standard audio file loudly at nearby drivers and pedestrians. The unit holds up to eight audio files at once and can be loaded from any USB flash drive. The Horntones FX-550 will cost $149.99 when it’s released in April, but they’re planning to start accepting pre-orders as of this Thursday, February 15th.

update:
here is a video of the HornTones in Action via Crunchgear

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About the author: Ryan Freebern

Ryan is a twentysomething web designer, programmer, and infojunkie who lives isolated from civilization in the woods of New Hampshire.

Website: http://justwhatiwanted.blogspot.com/

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BH Lombardy

Order yours ASAP, because this is going to be banned as quickly as it hits store shelves.

What highway and/or traffic commission is going to permit someone to blast any noise they want to, as loud as possible, at the press of a button?

This has “poor marketting concept” written all over it.
Archfeld

this would be childishly easy to hook up without paying $149.00, the question is WHY ???
http://www.dojoproductions.com Johnny Mac

HA! I’m spending the money, it will be worth it to play the A-Team theme song and jump into action of someone cuts me off. Of course, the downside is, people generally are too stupid to allow something like this to legally exist on the roadways
http://eatmyass.com Fred Johnsonspigle

Yea really, just what we need to hear. Dumb kids don’t make enough noise with their stereos and noise-maker exhaust systems. Now we get to hear all these spoiled brats driving around blasting random tunes at everyone thinking they’re SO COOL
Michael

This is already illegal in most states but it doesn’t mean a bunch of idiots won’t consider the legal ramifications before installing this POS and finding out the hard way.
fauxy love

maybe they’ll revoke the licenses of anyone who gets one of these… that would be SO swede!
Alfonso Gerniou

This looks like the perfect product to promote my company. I will be buying these for my fleet, so that my sales reps can play my jingle to other motorists.
http://www.employmentguide.com Chris Walters

For some reason, I can only picture this on an ice cream truck or a low-rider playing ‘la cookaracha.’
Kevin Mas

In California this would probably already be illegal. Plus you cannot use your horn for anything other then to avoid an accident. Even honking for someone, or using the horn to get someones attention to wave at them is illegal.

I’m not saying you will get a ticket but it is illegal none-the-less.
http://www.kingdomofloathing.com Joshua T.

The problem with this is that a couple of bars of music don’t sound like a horn. A car horn is instantly recognizable as “pay attention!” or “you’re about to back into me, numbnuts!” or “don’t T-bone me in this intersection!” It’s designed to make you instantly alert to imminent danger, in other words. A snippet of music will just make you go “hey, is that Sir Mix-A-SMASH CRASH BASH.”

Dumb, dumb, dumb idea.
Alfonso Gerniou

I don’t think this is dumb at all. It would be a great way for people to find out about my company, and it wouldn’t matter which radio station people were listening to. My ad would go right over the top of everyone else’s.
CM

This has got to be the most idiotic thing ever. People hear a horn, they instinctively know to get out of the way, or that someone may be alerting them to immediate danger. Someone hears some hip hop song blasting, they will ignore it. The only thing more retarded than this invention is the people who will buy it.
CM

The more I think about this, the more I think it must be a hoax. I mean seriously.
FredGarvin

I’ll buy one, and set it to blast “HANG UP AND DRIVE, RETARD”
JC

All the naysayers on here are missing the point.
It plays ANY standard audio file.

How about GET OFF THE GOD DAMNED PHONE AND F***ING DRIVE YOU STUPID C**T!
or
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DRIVE? K-MART?

I am *so* buying this.
Jordan

Leave it to Alfonso here to think about dollars more than the general safety of society.
http://www.nispe.com Mikey

Ties into your regular horn system? Impossible. Your horn can only emit a single sound when the correct voltage is applied to it. Maybe you can ACTIVATE this system through the horn switch on your car, bypassing the signal flow to your existing horn and routing the audio signal to a separate amplifier/speaker system. I would assume if that is the case, you have the OPTION of turning this new system off and using your normal horn as a default.

Whatever.
Sheri

All I can think of is – can you create audio files? I can think of a few things I would like to yell at people but don’t. If my car horn will now do it for me, perfect!! This could go really bad, really fast.
Alfonso Gerniou

How would I be compromising anyone’s safety by playing my jingle? I only want to promote my company. Is this so wrong?
http://www.fark.com/ Alex

Alfonso Gerniou: Whatever your company is, I’m calling for a preemptive boycott.
Shane

Ah, memories of the 80s. I had a friend with a PA system on his truck, and one of those stupid little key rings that could play machine gun and grenade noises. Fun times.
Alfonso Gerniou

There’s always someone who doesn’t like an advert. I’m more interested in the people that will buy my product.

I would have a captive audience in traffic jams, why is it a bad thing to promote my company?
http://nothing Bernard Smythe

I’ll buy one if the jingle is right. In fact if the Jingle is the theme to Quincy, I’ll buy a lot of it. This is an excellent idea.
Kolya Loyas

All I can say is, MORE JAIL FOR YOU!
Joe Patrinach

Can I get one that is extra loud? I need to make sure I can out-jingle Alfonso. We have been enimies foor too long! You will never outsell Rotocorp! let me order 5 my credit card number is 2345677554532 exp. 8-9. Send them to my house on overnight delivery thank you.
Bolson Ornicort

I don’t like your advert already, I will get this and play an advert of your competitor at louder volumes whenever I hear your product in traffics jam, then someone else play a louder advert

then the police bust us all, and we are hearing adverts only in the jail. What’s a foolish plan?
Some Guy

This rocks.

Who is to say you can’t record a real horn sound and then follow it up with something that fits the situation;essentially making it an electronic NYC taxi driver.
Alfonso Gerniou

This always happens when a true visionary comes up with a good idea.

Noise pollution is ILLEGAL. My jingle is not noise pollution, it is beautiful. You will be JAILED if you try to overpower my jingle, because you are committing NOISE POLLUTION. Not fined, JAILED.

Why is everyone attacking me for having a good idea? I guess this is why I am a successful business owner and you are not.
Joe Patrinach

I will play an advert that is your advert but then at the end it will say that your product is bad and that you fiddle with grannies. Also then my ad will play and say that it is a low price and a lifetime deal.
Bolson Ornicort

This is angry road trumpet! What is playing a violin at grandma? I can not endorse this box of noises it will lead to a bad safety!
Alfonso Gerniou

Ok, Joe (IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME), you can commit that crime of libel and I will sue your ass. Then something else can happen to your ass when you ROT IN JAIL.

I come here to share my GOOD IDEA and you people try to disparage and discourage me. You’re trying to stop me from doing it so you can STEAL my idea and use it yourselves, like the thieving SCUM that you are.
Alfonso Gerniou

I should add that as a successful business, safety is my number one priority. I would never dream of doing an unsafe thing.

I only want to promote my company.
Joe Patrinach

I respect your respect for safety and I am respectfully withdrawing my statement about out-adverting you. We should all learn a lesson from this, a lesson about safety. Thank you.
Waldorf Cobb

This isn’t a joke, people. You all think you are so funny acting silly over this. This can cost people their LIVES. My father was killed because he couldn’t hear the horn of an oncoming car. The car honked, but it played “Dancing Queen” by supergroup ABBA and, in a stae of confusion, he started dancing where he stood. The car hit him. He died. Now he dances in heaven for baby Jesus. Think about that you pigs.
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Bob

Car horns actually emit 2 notes to create a dissonant sound that alerts drivers. Dissonant sounds by nature are used to signal danger.
http://nothing Bernard Smythe

i thought this horn played .mp3s though so surely it’s not dangerous.
Alfonso Gerniou

I have placed my order, and within weeks the customers will be streaming in.

I love being a successful business.
http://nothing Bernard Smythe

I wish I had a business
Matt

Alfonso, I respect your desire to advertise your business, as I own a business myself. However, if I was stuck in traffic and was barraged by advertisements over the volume of my music without any control as to whether I heard them or not, I think I’d publicly hang myself. This is bad for people on more than one level.
Alfonso Gerniou

I am not interested in people that hang themselves. They are a drain on society and deserve no respect.

I am interested in people who buy my products, which they will when they hear my advertisements in a traffic jam.

If I get just one customer from this, I will have made a profit.
Matt

First, that was a joke. Lighten up.

Second, I doubt pestering people in traffic when they’re already probably in a bad mood is going to get them to think positively about your product.

Third, what exactly is your product?
Alfonso Gerniou

I guess you could say that I sell happiness. I don’t advertise on the internet because it is destructive to my business.

One day soon, you will hear my product and you will want to buy it.

This is why I am a successful business.
Matt

*laughs* Adveritsing in traffic is alright but mentioning it on the interwebz is too much. That’s a knee slapper.

I’m sure I’ll buy it someday. I’m so glad somebody has finally put a price on happiness.

I’m going to hit the “x” button now.
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Alfonso Gerniou

I wouldn’t expect you to understand, matt. I am sure that your business is failing. I am successful business because I know what works. You are failure in life because you don’t agree with me.
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Putt

How about Cheech and Chong’s rendition of “My Scrotum”
blaring over your speakers???
http://www.bash.org Zach

I doubt you “are a successful business,” especially with that HORRIBLE grammar.

This is a wonderful invention for 16 year olds to beat their buddies in pestering the neighbors.

As fas as using it to promote a business, I would highly advise against that. It may be viewed as disturbing the peace, and most cities (around here and that I’ve visited on a national scale) have sound ordinances and loud stereo fines. I don’t think that saying “I’m sorry officer, it’s just an advertisement. You wouldn’t understand, I am successful business,” will get you out of a ticket.
http://www.roflmao.com Hank Sohruss

I know for fact Matt’s business is failing.
His dog told me.
Waldorf Cobb

Alfonso, I am interested in business success and happiness products but your horn is too much dangerous. Can you uplode your safety documents so that we can be sure that you are serious about it?
Alfonso Gerniou

Are you questioning my safety standards? I did not become a successful business by being unsafe. Safety generates goodwill in the community, which generates a success.

The simple fact is that I am a success. This is proof enough of my high emphasis on safety.
Hank Sohruss

Waldorf has a point. I too would like to buy your product but my pants are full of walri.
Joe Patrinach

Alfonso is correct that sfety is success but he fails to recognize that safety is it’s own success. This is how rotocorp sees 100000% safety increase at same time as 100001% success increase. IN ONE MONTH. Who else can say that they also did so? Not Gerniou Inc LLC GMBh. Not even they can did so.
Alfonso Gerniou

To achieve that kind of safety increase, you must have been very unsafe to start with.

We have been safest of high safety since the beginning of my illustrious business.

HOW DARE YOU try to use numbers in such an evil way.
Hank Sohruss

Alfonso,
Numbers were invented with the sole purpose of bringing evil. If we cannot use this evil we have been granted, then we may as well not use numbers either.
Joe Patrinach

A popular safety doctor has approved my methods since i have started supplying my business to local people when I was very young. I am ashamed to say I haved risked much when I was young and only a fool. However, with time and the proper amount of butter I have become safe and learned that sometimes we need to depend on the safety inside of each of us.
L0phtpDK

Alfonso… what the hell do you sell?
Timothy Drabler

Where can i hear your advert? i am very interested in your products and would like to learn more about them.
Alfonso Gerniou

I fear for your community. They must be fearful for their lives because of your unsafe risks. It is good that you now understand the importance of safety, but this has digressed too far.

I would like to get back on the subject of how I could spread joy by advertising my company with these horns.
Timothy Drabler

Also, I thinks horns are silly; Virtual Wii is the next step in advertiusing because it targets the brain and also the loins.
http://www.cogapa.com Ryan

I don’t see how this is much different than a CogaPA car horn.
CogaPA is the first fully integrated, musical, recordable automobile horn with built in public address system.

http://www.cogapa.com

PS: its only $69.95, and they are being sold on eBay for quite a bit less
Rolo Tomasi

“I came here to chew bubblegum & kick ass, I’m all out gum!” First let me say, Alfonso Gerniou you are full of crap. Your name doesn’t pull sh!t up on google. If your so successful, where evidence of it. Right, you’ll probably you’re bigger than google.
There’s also no evidence for Gerniou LLC. So your so successful that no ones heard of you? Alfonso Gerniou what is that some kind of lame ass pen name? Remember someone who is truly great doesn’t need to brag about it. If you do ever become famous, it will probably be for being an a-hole. Also, Joe Patrinach is full of it as well. He name turns up nothing as well when searched. “RotoCorp” is bs as well. Imagine that? These two are in it together. Using “Vegas” names & companies. There’s a special hell for guys like you. I for one am gonna buy this product just to play a recording that says Joe Patrinach & Alfonso Gerniou are F-ing Loser who love to have sex with each other as they lame ass posts. No lawyer would take a case from either you losers. Maybe, Johnny but he’s dead. Also, you won’t be able to hear an advertisement, when driving at normal speed. Especially not in traffic when the normal horns are going off like fireworks on the 4th & you’re windows are up. When you get to hell tell’em. Rolo sent you.
http://www.dumb.com Mike Viegh

Alfonso,

You said if you got even one customer from your advert on those things, it would be worth it. They cost $150 each and you said you would buy those for your “fleet” and that implies more than one. So I don’t know what you sell but it must be worth a LOT of money just so you can make a profit with ONE customer.
rec

you’d also need a performing rights or public advertising license for this to be legal if you wanted to advertise via it.

i’m sure they’ll limit it for show use only, but still, stupid product for a stupid car modifying scene.
http://www.moelikestobuythings.com Consyoomer

How dare you insult a great honor of Dr. Gerniou? I have use him product for year and it bring to me great peace.

I vow on my mother’s unknown whereabouts since the Sandinista era to buy many, many, great many of these horns, and I will also downlode his advertisings. Then, I will play his advertises everywhere I am going. Perhaps I will drive slowly down roads where children play so they can hear the good messaging of Sr. Gerniou’s amazing product that he sold to me. Personally. Then, they will hear and they will buy and they will know a wonderful safety and peaceful safety.
Uncle Jed

Alphonso,
I’ve been reading your comments and I can see the “tongue firmly in cheek” from here… He’s JOKING!

I mean, think about it… How absurd for anyone to think that they can just blare advertisements from moving vehicles at any time… Wait, guess what? They do this in Japan. Maybe not the exact same technology but… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaxrgjJ_FEo

I’m sure there are welcoming ears for this barrage but, when I lived in Japan, it was most obnoxious.
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http://n-a Lurbz

Alfonso –

If you really have to buy a car horn to get your jingle played…how successful is your business again?
Ideocracy

Alphonso doesn’t pass my Turing Test, but he’s funny nonetheless.

It’s good to see that at least a few of you are bright enough to see that Joe is in on the fun.

As for the rest of you- I hope you’ll learn some critical thinking skills before you’re old enough to drive.
Rational Beaver

This product, or at least the idea, isn’t very new. I lived in Brazil several years ago and a few people had something similar for their cars there.

At the time I wondered why I hadn’t seen (or heard) of this in America and I assumed that it was simply illegal here because, well, it seems like it should be.

From experience, wacky horns are better for getting people’s attention on the sidewalk than in their cars. Although I recall that some cars had multiple sound effects and could probably switch to a regular honk if they so chose, which would solve that problem.
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Captain Obvious

:Alfonso Gerniou
Feb 13, 2007 at 9:24 pm

Ok, Joe (IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME), you can commit that crime of libel and I will sue your ass. Then something else can happen to your ass when you ROT IN JAIL.

I come here to share my GOOD IDEA and you people try to disparage and discourage me. You”re trying to stop me from doing it so you can STEAL my idea and use it yourselves, like the thieving SCUM that you are.”

While I don’t care much for your squabbling over using this as advertisements, I feel that i must say this. Libel, as most of us know or so i would hope, would be through printed medium, sound files would be slander. Also you would have a better chance doing something under copyright infringements against your jingle more than anything else.
ZMAN

So what are you selling, Alfonso? Cell phones? You said you are not advertising on the web. Guess what – you are on the web and you are advertising. I don’t know what, maybe yourself. One thing is sure, we don’t need more noise pollution
Dumb Fcuk

I am successful business. My product it top secret and so amazing that even mentioning it would have people clamoring to steal it, so I will never say what it is. Yet I will still sell millions and be most successful man in America. I am successful business.
http://oopsnone.com boomer

Yeah thats defenantly the most stupid idea. But I think it will help increase traffic problems and laws against the dumb horns.
http://fark.com Really Entertained

How did this site fnd this many newb forum users? Alfonso is a pretty brilliant humorist. The guy isn’t serious in the slightest, and you are all moronic for seriously arguing with him, albeit necessary to make me laugh as hard as I did reading this cr*p from top to bottom. Well done, Alfonso, well done my man.
Rolo Tomasi

Most people believed them (Alf & Joe). So you you Ideocracy & Real are the fools. Why? simple mob rules. We are the major, you two are minority. You know they say(if not now you know)60,00000 Frenchmen can’t be wrong…
Rolo Tomasi

60,000,000. I really need to proof read.
Alfonso Gerniou

There are always people who resent that I am a success. These people will never see success and this is why they try to hurt people who have the success they will never experience.

These people can shut up. They are nothing to my business and do not have any place in society. They are leeches, who do not understand beauty.

My world is beatiful, and yours can be too. Do not listen to the ugly people.
Joe Patrinach

I am only here to discuss wonderful technologies that will bring us and business commerces into the new future. These personal attacks are upsetting. To say Rotocorp is not existing on the internet is true, but only because it is too successful (internet is a fad like elevator). Can we please see the beauty of a horn that play altered version of Gerniou LLC advert with sounds of cats fornicating dubbed on the top of it? Please? I thought this was a free country.
Alfonso Gerniou

If you have freedom to destroy my jingle with your cat noises, I have freedom to BURN YOUR FAMILY TO THE GROUND.

Is this what you want? I do not.
Joe Patrinach

The French smell and hate minorities. People in the majority always hate minorities. They are racists and Rolo is a racist. I think these horns should come with a racism blocker to prevent the French from using them.
Alfonso Gerniou

I am glad we can agree on something, Joe.

We must not allow these french to have the same privilege as the rest of us. They are racists and must be shunned like the french they are.
Joe Patrinach

Then it is agreed. The French must be persecuted for their hate crimes and also for their hate of freedom of horn speech. Good business is will combine forces against Frenches and maybe, someday, the world will be safe for business adverts again.
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Alfonso Gerniou

The french have “non” regard for safety. I hope that these “people” will one day fully understand their success and stop being such racist.

The french racists stop all people from reaching true success.
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http://www.queenieandthebluecats.com Queenie

Might be illegal,might be unsafe but if I could get me a horn that played Muddy Waters or Koko Taylor I sure would.
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http://www.maritfans.com Marc

Phew… that’s better
JC

Wow, you guys are taking this product way too seriously. Think of the fun things you can do with it. For those tailgating efficianados, you could blare your schools fight song at games to liven up the crowd. And someone correct me if I’m wrong, couldn’t you reprogram your normal horn sound for driving purposes? Sounds like a fun product.
Alfonso Gerniou

This product got me jail for six months after I fight with the police.

Why did nobody warn me?
LMAO

Alfonso Gerniou
Jun 5, 2007 at 6:14 am

This product got me jail for six months after I fight with the police.

Why did nobody warn me?

a perfect end to a lame flame war.
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http://www.noveltycarhorns.com Jason Tradria

I love these car horns, one of the best out there by far…
Steve

Any idea where a good spot is to mount the horn on a 2007 Jeep wrangler..??
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