If you are looking for a passive aggressive way to express your dissatisfaction with someone’s parking, look no further than this booklet of obnoxious fake parking tickets. Personally, I am middle-aged, intolerant of stupidity and thus am inclined to take the direct approach of telling a person that I’ve never met that their parking is making life miserable for other people.
If you are not quite there yet (or are a nicer person than I) then you could try some of these. The messages in your little booklet of tickets include the following:
- Go to a mechanic. Your steering’s off.
- This parking job violates the law. Of physics.
- Did you park like this or was there an earthquake?
- Couldn’t decide which space to park in, huh?
- Your car isn’t nice enough to park in two spots.
- I used to park like this. Then I turned 6.
- Is your name Katrina? Because this parking job’s a disaster.
- I would’ve flipped you the bird, but this fits my mousey personality much better.
- If parking were a game of chess, you’d lose.
- You’re a space hog.
- Did you park this or land this?
- Maybe a GPS system could’ve helped you find the middle of this parking spot.
- It was either this, or put a crowbar through your window.
- The way you pulled in makes me wish your dad would’ve pulled out.
- Didn’t know it was “National Let Your Child Drive You to Work Day.”
- Double parking hints at something deeper.
- Parking isn’t your thing. Stick to drive-thrus.
- Hope you’re better between the sheets than you are between the lines.
- Apparently you have boundary issues.
- Aliens searching for intelligent life would see your parking job and leave.