Marvel Avengers Cologne Lets You Smell Like A Superhero

First the movie came out and you almost combusted from excitement, and now you can actually smell like your favorite comic book hero would if they bought their cologne from Wal-Mart. These 7 signature scents are fully licensed by Marvel and are available now to help you unlock your true powers. Let’s explore each so you can make the right choice:

Loki’s Mischief cologne is made to rule, and encourages you to “Make them desperate.” Put on a little of this and your golden horn helmet and watch the ladies swoon because they will. OH, they will.

Nick Fury’s Infinity Formula “Activates the Initiative,” and is just the right scent to give you the confidence to “Face danger with something dangerous.” And if you know anything about danger, then you know that’s accurate advice.

But we can’t forget the ladies. Black Widow’s….um…Black…..Widow, “fallaces sunt rerum species.” And that made so little sense to me that I’ll just leave it at that. The perfume is simple and asks but one question: “Can you handle the Black Widow’s bite?” Don’t know if I’m man enough. Are you?

Then there’s Patriot Cologne for Captain America. THIS, is your attack plan. “Heros are made” when you and your posse spritses a little bit of this toilet water on your neck, wrists, abs, and nether regions. Watch out female nationalists, here comes the scent of a man!

Iron Man’s Mark VII helps you to “armor up,” but I’m not sure if it works to prevent the spread of STDs. “We’re bringing the party to you.” says Marvel. Thanks, Marvel, I was feeling down and needed the party brought.

Hulk! Smash! Be Angry! Lose Control! Because that’s what the ladies dig- an ornery green maniac with a bowl cut. And look!- the packaging is green too! Who comes up with this stuff?

You may not be able to duplicate Thor’s silky blonde locks, but if you rock a little of his “Worthy,” you too will ” possess the power.” I mean, look at the lightening bolts on the box. Does it get anymore powerful than lightening? I can’t imagine it does.

Can’t decide? I know, me either. So many different ways I’d like to approach utilizing scent as a weapon that I’m overwhelmed. Maybe we should go for the 4-pack? After all, it includes the scents of the only 4 of the Avenger characters you actually wanted to see anyway. Hell, make a 4-way cologne cocktail on your skin and pick a fight with a crew of Hell’s Angels. I would, and then I’d sit back and let the ladies come to me.