Alcohoot Smartphone Breathalyzer Makes Sure You Don’t Need A Cab

Holidays mean more than just presents and gluttonous consumption of foods that are high in fat and cholesterol. For some of us, it means we get our drank on (not a typo). But one thing it most definitely shouldn’t mean is dead people; specifically because of you, specifically because of you drinking alcohol and driving. Why let the famed breathalyzer test be a sign that you’re going to jail, when you can use it to do the right thing?

With “police-grade accuracy,” Alc0hoot is just what you need to keep your legally drunk self out of trouble.  The unit plugs directly into your headphone jack and works with a free app that is compatible with both Android and iOS.  “So why is it 2 and a half times more than simliar devices?” you may ask?  Well that’s due to not only the guaranteed accuracy, but because the device requires a yearly calibration, you’ll get a new device each year along with a shipping label to return the old one, with just a $30 fee.  In addition, the app will give you directions to local restaurants where you can soak up the night’s intake with deep-fried anything, a link to Uber, as well as a tool to track your consumption.  Also, if this sounds super exciting to you, then you most likely have at least a slight drinking problem.  That aside, you can get yours here now for $119.  Happy New Year!





About the author: Whutsiznaim


One time rapper turned writer and creator of Lover of certain things, hater of others. Music snob and purveyor of Good Husbandry (tm). I just wrote that in 2 minutes flat.

Twitter: coolmarriedwhut



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